Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the legal learning podcast. I’m your host Jolene. And with the legal learning center, I help prospective law students save $300,000 on law school. If you’d like three money saving strategies today, visit legal learning center.com for slash money. Today I’m joined by Arivee Vargas. Attorney turned coach to first gen and women of color professionals, hosts of her own podcast and HR professional. We are going to discuss the pressures we’ve put on ourselves to be all that we think we need.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
So I’m Eddie B. I am the daughter of Dominican immigrants. I say that first because it shaped a lot of my experience growing up in who I am as a person. I am a mother of three little children, six, four, and eight months keeping, you know, keeping things fresh and active in my house as always. And I also am an HR professional. I’m a lawyer and I’m also a women’s high-performance and life coach. And I have a podcast called the humble rising podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
And it is that podcast that got me thinking I need to have you on the show. It was just an offhanded comment you made on one of your shows that just resonated with me. And I thought we need to have a chat about this. This is something that pre-loss students really need to hear and law students, and it was something along the lines of just that you felt a certain pressure just as self within pressure to, I dunno, kind of represent or to just really I don’t know, become this lawyer. And I think we all feel a little bit of that pressure, especially if we add in things like first gen female minority, where it’s not just, yes, I want to be an attorney, but I must be an attorney, you know, once I’ve said it, because I need to represent my heritage, I need to represent my family. And yeah. So why don’t you talk a little bit about your background and how you felt like recent, you want to go to law school reasons you felt like maybe you need to continue that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Oh yeah. So this what a packed question. So I think, I think it’s important to understand that at least in my, my experience was that, you know, my parents never said you need to do this or do that. However I do think what’s a shared common experience among first-generation kids who are, you know, kids who are born here, but their parents are immigrants. And I think this is regardless of culture. I think this is true for most first gens. Is that there, although your parents may not say to you explicitly, like you must do X or you must make money, you must do these things. I do think we internalize this message of like, while my parents worked so hard while they sacrificed so much for us, while they sacrificed so much for us to have a roof over our heads for us to have an education and that we feel then this pressure to be like, I got to make good on that.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I have to make good on that. That that’s sacrifice. However, that feels. And however, that manifests for you personally. So for me personally, I was like, okay, I know for sure I want financial security and financial stability. And I know this is a common shared experience. It’s not just me, but I did feel that that desire, the, the does like the innate desire on my own being like, oh yeah, when I get older, like I’m going to take care of myself. And I want to make sure that I’m independent. I want to make sure that I can make good on the sacrifice, but also take care of myself. Like I knew that it was important to me to be able to do the things I wanted to do and have financial freedom. Like freedom was a very big thing for me. And it still is.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So I do think there, there was this need to make good on a sacrifice, despite the fact that nothing is explicitly told to you. Right, right. And so you carry that through because now I’m 11 years old, I see law and order on TV, I’m being a hundred percent honest. So on or on TV, I thought that was the coolest thing in the world. I also had the opportunity cause my dad used to work out and we still work. And the courthouse and I used to go to go and check out like the attorneys presenting arguments. And I thought that was so cool again, like not really knowing what being a lawyer meant and in law and order is complete. Like, you know, it’s all, it’s drama, it’s a drama. So, and then I know that when I was a child, but you know, then I started talking about, I’m going to be a lawyer around when I was, I think I was 11.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
My mom will correct that if that’s wrong. But you know, I think it was, I was in middle school or something around sometime around that, where I said that. And then it became like, oh, oh, she wants to be a lawyer. That’s great. Now, by the way, before I was 11, my mom will tell you, I want it to be everything else. A chef, a dancer, a singer. I mean, I had like all these other things I wanted to be, but once I landed on lawyer, apparently it was like, oh, she’s going to be a lawyer. And even though again, nothing was really said to me about like, you have to do that. That didn’t happen. It was just, I went to college and I was like, yeah, like I’m supposed to be, I’m going to be lawyer. Like, and I didn’t really know what that meant.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I was very involved in college and all of these different social justice initiatives. I studied a lot about, you know, education and equity in the Latino community, which is what I was really passionate about and still am passionate about. And so naturally my sociology professors were like, oh, so you’re going to like, go get your PhD. Like you can stay here and you know, this would be great. And I’m like, actually, no, remember like I’m going to law school and they’re like, wait, I’m sorry. And I’m like, yeah, I’m going to ask, I’m going to do education policy. This is what I want to do. And they’re like, okay. But they were like, are you sure? And I said, yeah, you know, cause I said, I was going to go and you know, I’m going to go. And I do what I say and I do what I’ve told other people I want to do.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Right. Like being really clear about now, it’s not about what other people expect of you. It’s now the pressure you’ve put on yourself to make good on your own promise to yourself, right. That you are, you’re not supposed to change your mind. So stick to what you say and do, and you make good on your commitments. So that’s what I did. I went to law school. I did an externship and education policy and I said, oh, oh, policy is a lot of politics. Oh this is not the way that I know I can create the change I want. And so I said, okay, now what Jolene, I’m going to be again, a hundred percent honest, I went through OCI. I got a lot from job. That was it.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
That’s what happened. And then, and then to be fair again, when I saw I’m just going to keep it real. When I saw that paycheck, I’m like, they’re paying me this, this is crazy. This is a crazy amount of money. And then you start getting into, okay, I have to pay my loans. I have to, you start getting into like, why you need to keep that job. Yeah. Even if it’s not lighting you up. And even if I always say law firm life was my zone of excellence, but it was never my zone of genius. You know?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
No, it’s true. We get really wrapped up. I think there is. I think most of us do have a little bit of that external pressure. And again, I use that word lightly because, you know, I mean, my mom was always like, you’re going to go to college. You’re really smart. You know, all these things. And I think, you know, she really want it for me. What, you know, her generation didn’t have, she was told you get married. And so I was the first gen first female to go to a four year university. I was the first anyone in my family to go to law school. And you don’t even know when I took my gap years at first, it was gonna be one year. And they were like, okay, if you’re sure, you know, again, no pressure. Right. And then I decided that,
Speaker 2 (07:55):
But like, but like, what are you doing? Right. Like,
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah. And then I said, Hey, I’m going to take a second gap year. And they were like, okay, as long as you don’t lose your motivation. And it’s like, okay, but no pressure. Right. It’s you know, and then when I went, it was like, I mean, I love studying, I love school. I love learning, but I was so exhausted by the end of my first year that I really just didn’t want anymore. It was like, I tap out. I’m done. And yet, you know, I’ve never been a quitter. And again, I already told everybody else doing this thing and I don’t even know how I’m going to repay these loans anyway, if I don’t keep going, but, but much less, I already told everyone, what are they going to think? I mean, they were already getting weird with me about gap years, you know? So it really, it’s really hard because they really do kind of put a pressure on you even without maybe a direct pressure.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
And then you put yourself pressure on there. And same thing I had thrown around lawyer along with 50 other things my whole life. And it just kind of kept popping up more than anything else. So it of just went that way. And I don’t know when it became finite, it’s really kinda weird. It just stuck. And, and it’s weird because it’s such an expensive, big thing to just kind of randomly stick and not be a necessarily a life goal. And then, and then, yeah, I did feel a little bit of that pressure. Again, it wasn’t direct, but that you are the one in the family that’s gonna go to college. That’s gonna show that the women can do it, that you can be financially independent, that, you know, if you ever get divorced, you can take care of yourself. You’ll all those things that the prior generation couldn’t really do for themselves.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
And it’s just and you feel like, yeah, I want that for myself. I want the financial independence. I want to be able to say, I’m something impressive. I do want to do something impressive. I do know I’m smart. So why should I just be a secretary? Right. Why shouldn’t I be the top label? And I mean, luckily I checked in enough with myself after law school that when I was offered management type positions, I was like, no, thank you. I’m good. And I had to say that several times because they were like, really, we want, you know, I love you guys, but right now, as a non-manager, if I hate someone, if they’re annoying me, I can shut my door. If I’m a manager, I have to listen to their BS all day, every day, if that’s what they want, you know? So no, and honestly, good attorneys who do their job, don’t need a manager.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
The only people who need a manager are those who don’t do their job. Yeah. So really why do I want that? Why do I want to be hanging out with the people who can’t do their job when clearly I did it so well, I’m in management. So no, I, I saw that as not my happy place. And I was very clear on that and I made sure to stick with that. And that has saved me, I think. But I don’t think that’s the case for everyone. They also say they have to be a partner and it’s not just for their own success necessarily. It’s also because we need more women in management. We need more women as partners. We need more minorities as partners. You know, there’s only these certain percentages that are minority attorneys and minority partners. And it’s like, okay, but don’t represent by killing yourself, you know?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah. I think enjoying that’s like the key, I will never forget. I went to a conference. I was a senior associate, I don’t know, went to this conference and it was a a woman of color conference for, for know attorneys. And I remember we were having these conversations about why do I have to be the old one? Why do I have to be the one to make partner? Like, why do I have to do this? Like, I don’t, what if I don’t want to do it? You know, why do I have to always be the one, but not the one to represent my community? And I will never forget one person, she, she owned her own firm. But obviously it was a partner, her own firm. She founded the firm. But it was a pretty large firm. And she said, look, I know that you, you find that frustrating, but that’s the reality that you have to do this because like you, this is, this is your job.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Like we need you. And I remember being like, but do, but do they really? Because there are so many other people who are similarly situated to me who actually would want to do that, who actually want to do that separate and apart from what it would mean to others. Right. And for me, and we’ve talked about this, Julian too, as my thing is always, I can only hope that like my ancestors and my family are proud of me, but I better be sure that I’m making myself proud and that I’m in total alignment with who I am in terms of what I do like, and no one, no one has that vision and some of my heart, my mind and my soul only me. And so I think a lot of people will do what is expected of them or will do or will be that person to represent, even though what’s at their expense.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Right. And I think that’s the problem. The problem is not that you feel like you need to represent the problem is that when you’re doing it, when you know, that’s not really what you want to be doing in terms of your, your job or like the type of work you want to do. I think it’s really important for people to understand that you can be excellent at something. You can be really good at it. You can be offered multiple jobs in that kind of industry, even if it’s not law, but if it’s not. And I always say, this is like, from the big leap, that book, if it’s not within your zone of genius, you’re always going to feel out of alignment. It’s just not going to feel as good to you. And so for law students, people that are pre-law or in law school, like, you know, right now, how it feels, do you know, you know, it, you’re scared of dealing with a feeling, but until you deal with that, either you deal with it now, are you going to be dealing with it in a year, two years, three years, it’s going to happen?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
The reckoning will occur, whether it’s from whether it’s internal reckoning, like you figure that out on your own somehow, or some external event happens that forces you to, to have that reckoning. I E the pandemic for a lot of people. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Right. It’s amazing to me what the pandemic has changed as far as the work dynamic and what people feel like all of a sudden they can demand like, Hey, wait, I need not, again, not this balanced, but an integration right. Of my work in my life. And you need to understand that sometimes a dog will bark when I’m on a conference call or whatever. And I actually have gotten in trouble for that before. And it’s like, wait, I attended a conference call on my day off for your convenience. And you’re upset that a dog barked
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Also, but also also, but like Julia, cause we read like, why are we working with people who think it’s a problem for your dog to bark in the background? Right? You’re in a home have if you have a dog, like you see what I mean? And that’s what, like, it’s not only the work we do and the environment we choose to be in, but it’s like, who is there? And who are we choosing to be around? And if you are constantly around people who don’t also align with your values and what you’re about, you’re going to be exhausted dealing with them. And then you look back 10 years and you’re like, why did I even spend time doing that? Like why did I do that to myself?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yeah. Yeah. It was funny because that came up on my annual review and it was the biggest complaint they had. So I was like, okay, so we’re doing okay. Right? Because it’s hard. Because even after, like I said, the first year of law school, I’ve actually talked to a lot of law students who at the end, like April, may, they are so tired. And they’re just like, I don’t know if I want to keep doing this. And honestly, this is a feeling even among generational attorneys. So even if your parents are attorneys, I’ve had plenty come to me and say, you know, my parents are both lawyers. Like I thought I knew what I was doing, which unfortunately law’s a very, a hidden area. You can’t really get a good internship before you go to law school. You know if you’re a secretary, you still don’t really see what the attorneys do.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
I mean, there’s just, it’s very hidden. And so you go to law school and of course law school is also not quite like practicing law at all, but you’re just so tired by the end of that first year. And you’re just like, what am I even doing? And again, even if you thought you had all this advice from your parents and so forth and yet what a lot of people do is, well, I’ve never quit anything. I already told everyone I’m doing this thing. I told myself, I’m doing this thing. I can’t just change directions now. And then of course the debt piece as well. So it’s hard to shift those gears. But like you said, if you’re not checking in with yourself regularly, if you’re not actually listening to what you’re getting back from your own body, yes, it’s going to come back eventually, whether it’s fine, you graduate and you only practice for two years or whatever, you know, and that happens and okay, it’s not the end of the world, but let’s, let’s try and make you happy.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Now let’s not be miserable for two years or five years or 10 years. And I mean, there’s certainly right before I left corporate, I was talking to a coworker who was in his mid fifties and he seemed really exhausted, you know? And I just asked him, how are you doing whatever I think I had already quit, maybe. So I was just in my last two weeks there and he’s just said, you know, I’m just really tired. I’m worn out. I said, well, why don’t you quit? Why don’t you change things up? See if there’s something else you could do. And he’s like, I just have 10 more years.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
You’re like why?
Speaker 3 (17:38):
That is such a long time. Like
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Jolene and I. So here’s, what’s really important. There is, we have choices. We may not like all the choices we have, like, and, and I’m going to do the caveat of this, the systemic issues that exist in terms of gender and race. Like I’m going to put that as a caveat, but generally we do have choices. We just may not like what they are. And, and I think for those who go to law school who are in there and they’re like, I don’t really like this. I don’t really know if this is for me. I’m not excited. As I thought I would be, I’ve gone here. But I feel like this is not what I want to be doing. That is different from, this is really hard. I’m out. Those are two different things because when you know why you went to law school, like, and I say this all the time, if you are a person who was like, listen, I got to go to law school because I want financial security.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I want financial success. I would say, okay, that’s not the only way to get there, but like, if that’s what you want to do and you’ve thought about that, then like go for it. Okay, fine. You have a clear purpose. And then he challenged, you go through Alaska, which we know the first year is very difficult. You will get there because you are so aligned with that purpose. Or like, nothing’s going to stop me from getting there when you go to law school. And you’re like, yeah, I don’t know what else I would do. That’s a problem because you’re going to be like, wait, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t have any clear direction. I don’t have clarity. I can’t even, I don’t even know how to listen to what is going on inside because I didn’t go into law school feeling like this is why I want to go.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
And I think people really struggle with that. Even if they’re good at it, good meaning they’re like, oh, I can do this. And I, I share this story for anybody who for anybody like, could be pre-law loss, a law student, anybody who’s, anybody in the professional world too. I was once told by. I was thinking about I was at a career crossroads and there was this very prestigious, very prestigious position that came around to see like, should I do that? Should I go for that? Or should I be all in and go for that? And one of my mentors, who’s been a mentor of mine for a very long time. She said to me, ITV, the question is now whether or not whether you would be good at it, because I think you would be good at anything you wanted to be good at.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
She goes, the question is whether you would like it. She was like, and I don’t know the answer to that. Only you can answer that. And I was like I don’t think I would. And then that literally, like, not just that question, but as I thought about different things related to that, it literally led me into a totally different path in my crew where I went in house and now I’m doing HR. Whereas before I was on a litigator track, I want to be a federal prosecutor. I w and I, that just did not happen. I was like, actually, I actually changed my mind and I’ve grown and evolved and my interests have gone evolved and who I want to be has changed and my values like, and that’s okay too. It’s okay to change your mind.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Yeah. I think that’s where we get really scared is we are like, you know, we noticed this big thing. How can we change our mind? Whether it’s before we even start, whether it’s after we finished it. I mean, just we’re scared of every point. And then of course, especially the further we go into the legal field, our friends are making partner, you know, and we’re just like fumbling, because now I’m going to do this other random, weird thing or whatever, you know, with this internship at a PR firm or something, I don’t know, you know? And it’s just like, cause we just don’t know, we didn’t hit it right with the law, you know, but we’re scared to admit it. And so some people never do that. They just, again, like my ex coworkers, they just stick with it, even though they’re tired and they’re over it. And,
Speaker 2 (21:17):
But if, you know, but you, but you know, when you’re over it and you know, it’s, it’s like, this is what I always say. If you’re over it and you’ve been over it for a year, this time to do something about it, like, I don’t want to hear about it. I want you to just do something because you clearly, the, what you’re doing right now is not serving you and the, you need to make some kind of change. Doesn’t have to be the massive change. But like do something like start looking, start thinking, update your resume, like take little steps so that you don’t have to be in this position because people find themselves in this like quicksand. And they just like, sit there. I’m like, you just continue to sink. There’s nothing. You’re not, you’re not doing anything to get yourself out of quicksand.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I know people out there like be, but there’s only certain ways to get at a quicksand. I get that. It’s a metaphor. But like, it’s, it’s hard because people also fear the judgment of others in terms of, oh, but I was supposed to do that thing. Like, like think of partnership, track it’s that. But I look at my, my classmates from law school and they’re all making partner. I could have done that. I’m smart enough. I am worthy enough for that. I could have done it now. Like, it’s like, look, I’m just trying to figure stuff out. And I’m like, yeah. But think about your own happiness. Like you have to, we have to stop comparing ourselves to what people portray as their life. Like we have to stop that people are not their titles. Like they’re not, they’re not. And we have no idea what happens in people’s personal lives. Like you have no idea if you’re a friend that your friend from law school may partner is freaking miserable. You have no idea. And you don’t know if they’re ecstatic and happy and wanted that all along. Right. But you have to worry about is you and your, and your passion, your direction, your purpose, like what you want to be doing, what you’re interested in and what you are not interested into.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, one of the things I T I think about all the time is just as I’m helping pre-loss students and stuff like that is just, how can we explain to people, you know, just like how I projected management. And I had a very clear example, right. That they could understand. And the, after I gave that example, they actually stopped asking me, he had asked several times. And when I gave that example, they were like, gotcha. You know, cause I think they had that problem. Right. They had to deal with the annoying people. But I think like dealing with family and friends who don’t understand, why are you dropping out of law school or Hey, you apply, but now you’re not going or whatever the thing is, how do we explain? And I know for me, I always tell people, look, especially if you start at law school, even just a few weeks, I went, I saw what it’s like, I understand, I don’t know the full circle, but it was enough that I realized that is not my happy place. It is not what I actually want. You know, there’s, it’s just not, it’s not meshing with who I am. I think there’s other ways that I can get where I want to go. But that, that definitely did not feel like it was it. But do you have any suggestions on that too?
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Yeah, I, I am my big thing. My big thing is clarity and I think you can only get clarity when you engage and the stuff you’re afraid to face. So the feelings that you have about, like, I don’t really know if this is for me, this isn’t, I don’t really want to be a measurable. I really don’t. All those conversations are you have to engage with them. And I think for, especially for people that are, have not gone to law school yet, they’re thinking about it or they’re there, you have to be having, now I know this is hard, but that’s the point. The point is that these are hard conversations with yourself, for you to be honest with yourself, but what you really want, what you’re really interested in now, there’s this, you know, the objections come in of like, yeah. But like, what I really want to do is like, act on Broadway and I can’t do that right now.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
And I’m like, listen, don’t get that twisted. If you actually want to act on Broadway and that’s your passion, that’s what you’re meant to do. There’s ways to do that. Well, you make a ton of money at first. Probably not. But is that your goal? Like what, what do you want? And I think Julian, I will tell you most of the people that I work with as a coach, they struggle with, I don’t really know what I want. Like they don’t, they they’re like in a space of like, I don’t really know what I want. Right. I don’t really know where I’m at. Like they haven’t done the introspection yet. And that’s, and that’s where I think the magic is. As you look at your experiences thus far, what have I been doing thus far? What am I actually interested in that I don’t realize?
Speaker 2 (25:50):
I don’t realize consciously that I really actually like, and that I’m more drawn to as a person. Like there are ways to get at these things to get you more clear about what you actually want to do and why, so that when you make a decision, like when I decided to like, kind of leave, you know, a legal group and go into HR, like when you make that kind of decision, like a career change in that way. Yeah. Anyone anyone says to literally bounces off of you because you’re like, yeah, this is what I’m doing. There is just no doubt in your mind because you are total alignment with like who you are and what you want to do. And when that happens to you, you literally feel not even a vibration in your body when someone’s like, why would you do that? You’re like, because it’s what I want to do.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Like, it’s like a no brainer for you. It’s when you doubt yourself, you haven’t done that work to be clear that other people’s what you think are other people’s opinions of you, what you think are the judgments of you will affect you and affect your decision-making because you haven’t yourself, made it clear to yourself independently of everybody else. And what you think they want for you. What you think they will think of you at the end of the day, when we die, I hate to bring death in, but this is the show when we die, you’re not going to give two hoots about what anyone said, what anyone thinks of you. If you’re going to be thinking of, did I live my life? And according to the way that I wanted to live it, you’re not going to be thinking of, oh, did so-and-so think I, you know, I’m going to be thinking of that. You’re going to think about the relationships you’ve had, how you lived. Did you do what you wanted? Did you have the courage to do it? You’re not going to be thinking of the stuff right now.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yeah. I love that. It’s so true because there are certain things that I have done and I do absorb more of other people’s opinions than other things I’ve done where it’s like, I don’t care what you think, you know? And yeah, when I was incorporate, I mean, I was very happy for 12 years. And then towards the end of the 12 years, I was just like, okay, I’m tired. I’m done. I just kind of crashed, you know, but I was totally happy there. And as my friends made partner and so forth, like I said, it didn’t bother me. And I had one friend who kept trying to bring me on board, you know? And I kept telling him, first of all, I knew he and I were opposites. He was Mr. Ambition. And I was like, just pay me well to do a decent job and leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
You know? So I didn’t even want to work for his firm because I had a feeling that they were going to be very aggressive and so forth. Like just not what I wanted. But after years of him harassing me, I finally said, let’s just hash this out. Let’s have the talk. Even though I don’t plan anything. And I just was very blunt with him. I gave him my income. I gave him my benefits. I gave him about how many hours I was working per week. What course houses I went to at like how far or lack of fairness I had to travel that kind of thing. So he would understand all the parameters of my job, how many days off I got per year, all that stuff. And he just froze. And he was like, you make that much. Yeah. And those are your benefits.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Yeah. And you worked that many hours. Yeah. I got nothing to offer you. And I was like, well, I’m so glad we had this talk. No, I never have to listen to you again. You know, but it’s, it’s being solid in who you are, what you want. And just knowing, yeah, this is right for me. Or this is not right for me. What is right about it? What’s not right about it. So when I move, I can make a good, right. Intelligent, not a bad move, but it is really hard. It’s not something we’re taught in high school. We’re not taught in college.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Oh, these life skills. Oh no. And I think, and I, and I think that when we, when we can sit with ourselves, ask ourselves the hard questions, be not, not be afraid to engage in those conversations with ourselves. We also learn about where we are at, in life and understand that maybe where I’m at right now, doesn’t have to be where I’m going to be at in three years or four years, the season of my life will change. Right. Like me before children. Oh my goodness. Very different. Right. Meaning like the demands of my time, my priorities, I mean are just very different and that’s okay. You know, it’s okay. Also, when you get a little bit more financial stability and security and you pay off your loans, you are in a different kind of position in terms of your jobs and what, like, again, be paying attention to those things and, and not being afraid to confront that there are changes and that you change and that’s okay.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
And that if you don’t want the job, right. It’s okay that you know that you could do that, but you don’t want to. And that’s again, O K as long as you are comfortable with that, and you feel that in your bones, right. If you do not, you’re just going to project that insecurity. And then people are just going to Compounce and like, Hey, what do you mean? And then you’re like, yeah, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know. What do you think? It’s like, actually, it doesn’t matter what they think, what you think. Right.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Absolutely. And you’re, yeah. You’re much more likely to, okay, let me just try this job. Okay. That’s not working. Let me try this job because you’re just being wishy-washy with, oh, this person is recommending this thing and this person’s recommending this thing. And you know, every time you’re dissatisfied, you’re just following the stream of whoever suggesting something. So it’s gonna take you a lot longer to be happy.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
And it’s totally, I always say this, it’s totally fine to say, you know what? I just want a job that pays me X that gives me X benefits. So I can do Y and Z outside of, outside of work. You don’t, your job. Doesn’t have to be everything for some people. It does, but you, but for you, it doesn’t have to be that way. Like you have to know why, why do I, why do I do this work in this job? Like, what purpose does it fulfill? Is it just pure financial, pure? I need to put food on the table, pay my loans. What is that reason? Because it doesn’t have to be your end, all be all, but it does have to align with what you need it to align with in terms of why you have the job. So again, that’s like part of the conversation is like, all right, I’m going to sit in these things, but does my job have to fulfill that interest? Like, what’s the purpose of my job. And knowing that in yourself is super important.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
That’s super, yeah. I I’ve never thought of it that way. So that’s awesome. All right. So if people wanted to follow you on social media or reach out to you, how can they do that?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Oh, just go follow me on LinkedIn. Just my name. And then I’m also on Instagram at Arivee Vargas, Arivee Vargas. And I’m also on Instagram through the podcast and it’s at her humble, rising.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Awesome. Thanks so much for joining me. I appreciate it. Thanks
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Really.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Before we get into my top takeaways, a quick word from our sponsor. Do you know if you need to
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Take out student loans, check in with Juno first, do you know, can often offer law students one to 2% lower interest rates than the federal government and with no origination fees and oftentimes cash back as well. Visit advisor.legal learning center.com forward slash Juneau. For more information, my top takeaways from this chat with RV one, check in with yourself, make sure law school and law is aligned with you too. You don’t need to give up yourself to represent your family, your race or whatever. I, number three, your job doesn’t have to be everything. That’s it. For this episode, a full transcript is available@legallearningcenter.com slash RV. That’s A R I V E. The show notes will be there as well as always. If you learn something today, if you like the show, please leave a review that just helps the show help more people. Thanks.
